(soon as you see the text) reply me
by Younger Dr. Grey
Summary: S1 Desperate for someone to talk to after fighting with Eddie, Iris leaves a pre-paid phone for the Flash. If none of her friends will talk to her, maybe he will. Text!fic
1. (soon as you get the phone) reply me

**about:** S1 | Desperate for someone to talk to after fighting with Eddie, Iris leaves a pre-paid phone for the Flash. If none of her friends will talk to her, maybe he will. text!fic

 **notes:** takes place in late s1, 1x18; Eddie's now a part of Team Flash, but Iris is still in the dark. It's post-Barry-learns-how-to-time-travel but pre-Barry-tries-to-save-his-mom. (text format done like iknowitainteasy's "Little Numbers") / cross-posted on tumblr and ao3

 **guide:** Plain text is Iris. Italics are _Flash_.

.

 **Part One**

.

.

 **Today** (9:43pm)  
Hi, Flash, it's me, Iris West. If you're reading this, then you got my message off my blog and decided that I wasn't totally insane for doing this. The phone's totally pre-paid, a burner phone, so I promise that no one has to know about you having it. I promise not to track you down with it, or give your number to the CCPD. I just don't have a lot of people to talk to right now. Plus, so far, you seem like a good listener. Let me know if / when you get this message.

.

(9:58)  
So, the box isn't up on the roof anymore. I'm guessing you picked it up. You probably did. You're also probably busy, which explains the lack of response. Just let me know that you got the box, when you can.

.

(10:16)  
Look, I know that this is weird. We've only talked a few times, and here I am buying you gifts, but maybe this could be good for you too. Everyone could use a friend, right?

.

(11:30)  
Well, I'm going to bed, but maybe you'll come around and message back.

.

(12:15a)  
 _Guess I'm a little late, huh?_

(12:30)  
Thought your timing was always perfect

(12:31)  
 _Not always.  
_ (12:31)  
 _Iris, this really isn't that good of an idea. You have people you can talk to._

(12:33)  
Yet none of them are talking to me. My dad, my friends, my freaking boyfriend — something's up, and I don't need you to spy or anything. Just help me out?

(12:34)  
 _I run fast, I'm not exactly a psychologist_

(12:35)  
Good. Because I can't afford therapy.

(12:36)  
 _You should go to sleep, Iris_

(12:37)  
Been trying for an hour. Can't do it.  
(12:37)  
Distract me at least?

(12:38)  
 _You don't seem easily… distractable_

(12:38)  
Is that a word?

(12:38)  
 _It's totally a word_

(12:39)  
Soo the Flash makes up words. Fascinating

(12:39)  
 _You make up articles_

(12:40)  
I do not! Everything I say is totally true and fact-checked

(12:40)  
 _Didn't fact check my name before you started calling me the Streak_

(12:41)  
Oh please, it had potential. You just wanted something cooler

(12:41)  
 _I'm a cool guy. I save old ladies and entire buildings. I've even stopped a giant hurricane_

(12:42)  
Uh huh, why don't I believe you?

(12:42)  
 _Because you only believe what you can prove_

(12:43)  
I believe in the impossible

(12:43)  
 _But we've proven that_

(12:44)  
I believe in you

.

(12:50)  
 _Why aren't you talking to your friends?_

(12:54)  
You know how sometimes you can just feel when something's off? They look at you, but their smile's a little too painted on, or they settle for looking at your eyebrows or your nose instead of directly into your eyes, and you ask a question and the answer's out of their lips before they could've possibly processed it so you know it's a stock answer.  
(12:56)  
It's probably too much information, but I normally live with my boyfriend and tonight I'm back at my dad's because Eddie will not tell me what's going on.

(12:57)  
 _Maybe he has good reason_

(1:00a)  
Don't give me that, please. What could be a good reason for lying to me? For pulling back when I finally think we're doing really really well?

(1:01)  
 _He's pretty busy, Iris_

(1:04)  
I'm busy too. I might not be catching five criminals in one night, but I'm tracking down everything I can about the meta-humans. I'm getting to the bottom of my mentor's true disappearance. I'm protecting Central City by knowing exactly what it is that we're dealing with.

(1:05)  
 _You don't think it's better to not know_

(1:07)  
Ignorance doesn't solve problems, Flash. It only leaves you unprepared for them.

(1:08)  
 _What if he's trying to help you?_

(1:11)  
My friend already tried that. Said Eddie's trying to keep me in the light, but it's not like I'm some innocent kid. My dad's a detective. My best friend moved in when we were kids because his mom died. I've seen and known about awful things my whole life. And I'm still me.

(1:12)  
 _What do you want me to say? That he's lying to you because he's awful, or that he's doing the right thing, or that he'll tell you when he's ready? I'm not the one you want to be talking to._

(1:14)  
Are you working with him?

(1:14)  
 _I'm working with everyone in Central City to keep our city safe_

(1:15)  
Are you working with my dad?

(1:15)  
 _I'm working with /everyone/_

(1:18)  
Do you know the Reverse Flash? Do you know what Harrison Wells is involved in? Do you know how STAR Labs plays a part in the meta-human pandemic? Does everyone who works there know what's going on? Are they helping, or are they hurting CC?

(1:20)  
 _You don't want help, Iris. You want an interrogation._

(1:21)  
I want answers, Flash. About everything. And no one will help.

(1:23)  
 _The Reverse Flash is dangerous, like he could get to anyone and everyone, and I still barely know what he's capable of or what it is that he wants. Keep messing around with this, and you're going to get hurt. You don't have a badge or a gun, like your dad or Eddie. You don't have to do this._

(1:27)  
The Reverse Flash hurt one of the people I love most in this world. I can't walk away. I can't let him keep doing this. I can't watch more dangerous meta-humans like him rise to power bc STAR Labs doesn't want to claim responsibility and help out with their mess. Who's to say Reverse Flash didn't come from there?

(1:30)  
 _You know the people at STAR Labs. You think they're hiding something?_

(1:31)  
Everyone else is.

(1:33)  
 _You can't live like this, doubting everyone, accusing them of lying to you_

(1:34)  
Then prove to me they're not.

.

(1:45a)  
 _Fine. I'll help you, but you can't tell anyone._

.

(1:50)  
I don't have anyone to talk to, remember?  
(1:51)  
Your secret's safe with me.

.

(1:53)  
 _you know, I never doubted it would be…_


	2. (soon as you find my dad) reply me

**guide:** Plain text is Iris. Italics are _Flash_.

.

 **Part Two**

.

.

 **Today** (8:18am)  
Exactly how early does the Flash wake up?

(8:20)  
 _You know what they say about justice_

(8:21)  
Yeah, it never sleeps

(8:22)  
 _Yeah well, neither do the criminals. Or I guess the journalists who write about them_

(8:25)  
Good morning to you too. I didn't want to wake you, but we didn't exactly hammer out all the details of our partnership last night.

(8:26)  
 _Oh we're partners now?_

(8:28)  
Yeah, unless you prefer to ~work alone~  
(8:28)  
Where's the bat emoji when you need one?

(8:29)  
 _Ha, no, you're fine, I'm just getting some clarification_

(8:31)  
Good bc you already said you'd help me figure out what's going on with STAR Labs and the meta-humans.

(8:32)  
 _That I did_

(8:32)  
So, we're partners  
(8:33)  
Colleagues? Friends?

(8:34)  
 _We can be whatever you want us to be, Iris_

(8:35)  
Friends then.  
(8:36)  
We'll solve this mystery, and see what comes next :)

(8:38)  
 _Maybe breakfast_

(8:39)  
Together?  
(8:39)  
Stupid question. Of course not. Secret identity.

(8:40)  
 _I'll leave your pancakes on the roof of Jitters_

(8:42)  
Now that doesn't sound very sanitary

(8:44)  
 _How about I wait until after you get up there? That gives me, what, like forty minutes to make them?_

(8:46)  
Sounds pretty slow

(8:47)  
 _I can't exactly speed up the cooking time. Besides, I just woke up_

(8:50)  
Want to leave a latte up there too?

(8:52)  
 _Ha, am I your partner or your assistant?_

(8:53)  
Depends on how good the coffee is

(8:54)  
 _Then prepare to be amazed_

(8:54)  
 _You've got 30 minutes_

(8:56)  
Make it twenty. I'm already headed to the car.

(8:57)  
 _Well, I already have the batter down_

(8:58)  
If you have any chocolate chips…

(8:58)  
 _Yup they're there, double chocolate_

(9:00a)  
Best assistant ever

(9:01)  
 _Wait until you taste them_

.

(9:14a)  
I'm here, yet I see no pancakes

.

(9:20a)  
Only four minutes left, tick tock

.

(9:24a)  
And you are late!

(9:24)  
 _Turn around._

(9:25)  
When did you — you're not staying?

(9:25)  
 _Already ate, plus there's a little emergency to tend to. Bank robbery, you know how it is_

(9:27)  
Meta-human bank robbery or normal human bank robbery?

.

(9:30a)  
 _Nope, case details are not part of the partnership_

(9:32)  
Not part? It's totally meta related, that puts it on the table

(9:33)  
 _A lady snapped and robbed the place she worked at. It's definitely not meta related, or STAR Labs related._

(9:34)  
Wanna bet?

(9:35)  
 _How much?_

(9:36)  
Pan of brownies and a quick peek at where my dad's going?

(9:37)  
 _Iris, I never agreed to spy on Joe_

(9:38)  
Okay, just the brownies then.  
(9:40)  
Buut I did check his recent searches, and they're all about Starling City and this car crash, and it screams, "I'm tracking Harrison Wells." My dad's up to something.

(9:41)  
 _I'm not tracking your dad._

(9:43)  
I'm only saying that if you were really gonna be my partner, you might check out what's happening over there.

(9:45)  
 _…partner… so you liked the pancakes then_

(9:47)  
I would gladly wake up to those pancakes every day for the rest of my life.

(9:48)  
 _Noted._

.

(9:53)  
You're not gonna start showing up with pancakes, are you? Because I don't think any of the men in my life would approve of that

(9:55)  
 _I thought you weren't talking to any of them_

(9:57)  
Doesn't mean I don't care what they think.  
(9:58)  
Come on, you've frozen people out, right?

(10:00a)  
 _I try not to. It's pretty bad when I stop talking to people_

(10:02)  
This /is/ bad. Haven't you ever been in love?

(10:03)  
 _It's not really something I talk about_

(10:04)  
So you have.

(10:05)  
 _Yeah, Iris, I've been in love  
_ (10:05)  
 _This is all off the record, right? I'm not going to find any of this in your next article? "Flash-ing in and out of love"_

(10:07)  
First of all, that is an awful title, and second of all, I told you, your secrets are safe with me

(10:08)  
 _Go on._

(10:13)  
Sometimes it takes something big to get people to recognize what's important. Eddie doesn't seem to think I can handle whatever's going on, so he's keeping it away from me, but that's the opposite of what I need.  
I had another friend who kept something from me. Something huge, like life-changing, needed to reevaluate our entire life long relationship huge. And we're still recovering from that, but we are recovering because I love that friend more than almost anything else in this world. I want to feel like that about Eddie, and for that to happen, I need to know what's going on. I don't want to wake up one day and find out there's another 20 year old secret I didn't know about

(10:15)  
 _Twenty sounds like an exaggeration_

(10:18)  
Fifteen then. Fifteen year secret, and do you have any idea what it's like to think one way about something — someone — and find out you never really knew them at all?

(10:20)  
 _My boss once turned out to be a very different person than I thought he was_

(10:21)  
Your boss

(10:22)  
 _Don't take a tone, yeah, my boss, my mentor, the guy I looked up to in my field is turning out to be literally my worst nightmare, and I have no idea how to deal with that  
_ (10:23)  
 _I keep acting like I do. If I don't then everyone else will freak out. They'll spiral, and if we're all spiraling, then he'll get away and it'll be like everything in my life led up to me being the exact same kid who watched his world fall apart someteen years ago_

(10:30)  
Oh.  
(10:30)  
Sorry to hear that.

(10:31)  
 _No, I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be helping you, not making you doubt another person_

(10:33)  
I don't doubt you, Flash. It's nice to know that even superheroes have shitty relationships

(10:34)  
 _Then I'm glad I could help_

(10:35)  
But…

(10:35)  
 _But?_

(10:36)  
You know that someteen's not a word either, right? This is a recurring thing, Flash. I'm buying you a dictionary.

(10:37)  
 _Hardy har har_

(10:39)  
Really though, this partner thing can go both ways, if you want. You don't seem like you've got people to talk to either

(10:41)  
 _I could, but the one person I want to talk to can't know about any of this._

(10:43)  
Remember what I said about ignorance leading to pain?

(10:43)  
 _Remember what I said about literal worst nightmare?_

(10:44)  
If your friends can't fight your battles with you, are they really your friends?

(10:45)  
 _I've got to go_

(10:46)  
Flash, wait

.

(10:55a)  
Should I not have pushed?

.

.

(3:00p)  
 _It's fine. I'm not avoiding you. This case is a lot more than we thought_

.

(3:35p)  
What case? The woman who says she didn't rob the bank? Was she telling the truth? What kind of meta are we talking about here? Mind control? Shape shifting? Have they done it before? The crime, not the shifting. Though those could probably inform each other.

.

(4:15p)  
Flash?

.

.

(9:19p)  
 _I honestly can't answer everything right now, and I definitely owe you some brownies, but first, Iris, tell me you won't freak out._

(9:25)  
About being right? This is awesome. I've been looking into this stuff all day. Did you know that other crimes have happened like this?  
(9:27)  
Okay, it's not awesome, obviously, more super human crimes isn't good for Central City, but this is a pattern! There's almost an M.O.!

(9:27)  
 _Iris_

(9:28)  
Monosyllabic responses, guessing we're serious. What's wrong?

(9:29)  
 _It's not your dad. Just a little accident, two cops on the force got shot, but they should be okay. We'll figure all of this out and stop Everyman, but first, just don't believe anything that you hear about tonight._

(9:31)  
What?  
(9:31)  
What did you do?

(9:32)  
 _Nothing. I only passed through it. Look, I'm sure you'll hear about it, just try to go to bed for now. Call your dad. See how Starling's treating him. He's bonding with Captain Lance and the D.A._

(9:35)  
What the fuck, Flash. You can't tell me something bad happened and then not say anything else. What kind of partner are you?

(9:37)  
 _The kind who's got other stuff to worry about right now. The worst kind of criminal is out there. Would you rather I text you about it or actually save the day?  
_ (9:37)  
 _That was rude_

.

(9:46p)  
Hey, don't let me hold you back

(9:48)  
 _Iris, I sent that text before I thought it through._

(9:50)  
It's fine. Go save the day. I'm fishing out my dad's secret scanner anyway.

(9:51)  
 _I really wish you wouldn't listen to that_

(9:52)  
I'm a big girl, Flash. I can handle it.

.

(10:23p)  
Eddie's not answering his phone. Why isn't he answering? Sure he was there when the other cops got shot, but he's not under investigation.

(10:25)  
Where's his phone? Why isn't he answering?

.

(10:34p)  
Why isn't anyone — No one's answering my questions. There's nothing inputted in the system yet about this. What did you see? What happened?

.

(10:53p)  
Seriously? Again?

.

(11:00p)  
Can you at least tell me if Eddie's okay?

.

(11:04p)  
 _I'm circling him. They brought him in, and no one gets to see him. I'm doing everything I can, but I'm gonna have to turn in soon. There's nothing I can do until tomorrow. But believe me, nothing's gonna happen to your boyfriend, Iris._

(11:06)  
He didn't do anything wrong. He's not that kind of guy.

(11:07)  
 _I know. He's my partner too._

(11:09)  
Ohhh, we are so coming back to that.  
After you bring him home to me.

(11:10)  
 _Thought you moved out_

(11:11)  
Just keep him safe

(11:11)  
 _Right away, boss_

(11:12)  
Friend*

(11:13)  
 _Iris_

(11:13)  
Right, stop messaging. I'll stop.  
(11:14)  
Text me when you wake up  
(11:14)  
Or just updates since, yanno

(11:14)  
 _Justice never sleeps_

(11:15)  
Night, Flash

(11:15)  
 _Night, Iris_

.

.


	3. (soon as you save Eddie) reply me

**an:** there's a picture in this chapter but ffn hates pictures. / I suggest opening the image in another tab and going back to it when it gets there, or just reading the image description - link to image - tinyurl[dotcom]/westscreenshot

.

 **Part Three**

.

.

 **Today** (8:43am)  
So, there are officially a lot more people saying that Eddie did this.

(8:45)  
 _I thought I got to text first this time_

(8:48)  
I've been awake for the last two hours. I waited as long as I could, but people at CCPN are emailing me, asking me why my boyfriend went off the deep end.

(8:49)  
 _Well, that's a little personal for an email, don't you think?_

(8:50)  
Point is — word's getting out there about this. Any changes?

(8:51)  
 _Not since yesterday_  
(8:51)  
 _I'm sorry, Iris, but this might take some time._

(8:54)  
But it doesn't have to! I talked to my dad about Eddie, and he just kept on going. Said he couldn't get away, and to trust in the department and the Flash. That's you. You can do something.

(8:55)  
 _I am doing something. I'll msg you once I know more, ok? Once I have a plan._

(8:56)  
What if I have a plan?

.

(9:30a)  
Just wondering, you're not into more... vigilante stuff, are you?

(9:32)  
 _What?_

(9:35)

[image: screenshot of a convo between Iris and Joe where Iris wants Joe to come back and help save Eddie, and Joe says he can't break Eddie out of holding, and Iris says but the Flash can.]

Before you say no, I know that everyone's doing their best, but Eddie's still in there while some meta-human runs free. If he's not out by tonight, could you maybe… help out?

.

.

(11:30a)  
I really should've given you something with read receipts. It's fine; I'll take your extremely long silence as a no. But I have a plan B.

Better than that, I have solid information. I've been online all day, going through CCPN archives, and this guy — this meta — has to have done it before. At least six crimes, including Eddie's and the bank robber from the other night. More importantly, from the footage of the shooting, I figured out that the killer is left-handed! That could be the key to differentiating between Everyman and their victims.

.

(11:45a)  
Ugh, I'm taking this intel over to STAR Labs. They might have something to do with all this weirdness, but they're also guaranteed to be there rather than wherever it is you are right now..  
(11:46)  
No shade, just you know facts. They're homebodies over there.

.

.

(12:14p)  
My intel rocks! I totally should've been a detective. You should've seen it. I went in there, told them everything that I'd told you, and took DOWN that meta. Everyman's in my car right now. Looks like I don't need help from anyone after all :)

.

(12:36p)  
Update: Meta woke up, shifted, and escaped. In retrospect, we should've stabbed them w/ the serum Caitlyn made before we tried transporting them.

.

(3:45p)  
Did you leave your phone somewhere? You're not responding to anything I say. Caitlyn and I almost got arrested for fake-kidnapping the meta's fake-little-girl body. Thankfully, pretty much everyone knows me at CCPD so all is well.

(3:48)  
If you aren't screening my texts, could you maybe look for my friend Barry? I know this meta doesn't hurt the people that they pretend to be, but I want to be sure. He looked so much like him.

(3:54)  
But it was weird, you know? Because I should've known something was up. the way fake-Barry looked at me…. Barry — that's my friend — we've known each other our whole lives, and when my Barry looks at me, it's like… coming home, like there's this well of emotion I guess. But fake-Barry looked at me like I wasn't even there. Like he had no idea why I was talking to him, and it was only a second or two of looks, of that emptiness and lack of recognition, but it was so weird.  
Not having Barry be Barry. And I didn't even know

(3:56)  
I'm rambling. And you're still not responding. We can chat later. After the meta's caught and everything.

(3:58)  
Or not. We can pretend I didn't send a bunch of texts about basically a second of interaction w/ a metahuman.

(4:03p)  
The metas, they kind of all mess with your brain though. My brain, at least. Even when they're not trying to, they bring out stuff in us. Worries, like a meta who can be anyone, or a meta who makes everyone angry, or even a meta that can go so fast that no one can stop him. Sometimes, it's as simple as wondering what you'd do if you could do what they could. Today, I would've gone in there, grabbed Eddie, and probably wouldn't have stopped running until he was way out of the reach of CCPD and the American police force. When you could be anything and do anything, how do you even know what's right?

(4:05)  
How do you ever know what's right?

(4:06)  
Okay, I'm just going to stash my phone now. Sorry.

.

.

(4:30)  
 _Holy shit, Iris, that's… a lot that you're thinking about. & We will definitely talk about all of that, but you might wanna head on over to the precinct. You're not the only one who caught Everyman today :)_

(4:45)  
Are you serious?  
(4:46)  
You caught him? Like caught him caught him, knocked him out and he's done?  
(4:47)  
And Eddie?

(4:48)  
 _Why do you think I said head to the precinct? I know for a fact that Eddie can't wait to see you too._

(4:50)  
You're amazing.  
(4:50)  
Seriously.  
(4:50)  
Thank you.

.

.

(9:18p)  
 _So, did you go home with him?_

(9:21)  
Yeah. Eddie's been through a lot today, and I couldn't really consider spending the night away from him after that. I definitely couldn't forgive myself if the last time I saw him, I was walking away. Or if the next time I saw him, after all this, idk he could've looked at me like…

(9:22)  
 _Like the fake-Barry_

(9:23)  
Yeah…

(9:24)  
 _It's good that you're talking to him, Iris. It can't be easy losing someone like you, for anyone._

(9:27)  
Yeah, well, if he wants to keep me, he still has to talk to me 'cause I don't have any more answers than I did before. He told me about working with you, but I feel like there's more.

(9:28)  
 _You sure that's not just the fear talking? You said a lot earlier about being afraid of what's right and what you would do. You don't seem very sure of even yourself right now. Could you, I don't know, be projecting some of that onto Eddie?_

(9:31)  
I /know/ that there's more that he's not telling me. That's not paranoia. That's instinct.  
(9:34)  
I said that stuff earlier because I was terrified of what was happening and of losing people I cared about, so please don't turn that stuff against me.

(9:36)  
 _I'm not trying to turn anything against you. You have every right to be terrified, Iris. There's so much going on that you can't explain and for someone who thrives on clarity and answers, it's gotta be hard.  
_ (9:37)  
 _But you've got to trust someone sometime.  
_ (9:37)  
 _And I don't just mean me. You don't even know me._

(9:40)  
I know your favorite color's red.

(9:41)  
 _I'm serious_

(9:43)  
You definitely grew up here. You're too comfortable and too indebted to CC's safety. Plus, you didn't even hesitate in CCHS, so I'm guessing you probably went there.

(9:44)  
 _This isn't a gaame_

(9:47)  
I've definitely served you coffee before.  
You were bullied at some point.  
You're at least 6' tall, and you might try to act like this all in a day's work but helping people is more than a job for you. You love this.

(9:48)  
 _I do love this, and so do you. Kid who grows up seeing a lot of the bad in the world, you start to get really in to all the good out there. The smiles, the heroes, the love_

(9:50)  
Touché

(9:52)  
 _I asked Eddie about leaving btw. He chose to stay in holding. Do the right thing._

(9:53)  
That's my guy.

(9:54)  
 _Yeah, that is._

(9:56)  
I should probably go back to him actually. I wandered away, told him I needed to update my dad.

(9:57)  
 _Lying to him might not be the best thing. Pot, kettle, etc._

(9:59)  
He doesn't do too well with me talking to other guys. Not in the bad possessive kind of way, just….  
Before I go, can I tell you one more thing, in confidence?

(10:01p)  
 _I don't know, Iris, you maybe shouldn't tell me everything, you know. Really, you might regret it eventually. If I'm not the person you expect me to be_

(10:05)  
When I caught the meta, Everyman looked /just like/ Barry, and then Barry wasn't responding to any of my messages. Neither were you, or my dad, or Eddie obviously. For the first time, in a long time, I had absolutely no one to talk to, and…

(10:06)  
 _And…?_

(10:10)  
So I kept thinking. I thought about the right and wrong thing, and the way that meta made me feel, how I couldn't even tell that he wasn't my Barry, and I knew where everyone else was, you know. Where my dad was (in Starling), where Eddie was (in holding), where you were (somewhere saving people, doing things), but I had no idea where Barry was. Or what was happening with him  
(10:12)  
Everyman took over Barry's life, and I had no idea. Just like I didn't know what was happening w/ him when he woke up. I've totally lost touch of the most important guy in my life and that's completely on me.  
(10:15)  
I stopped paying as much attention to him bc he did these tight smiles all the time and he had this weird moment a few weeks back where he was convinced that I felt the same way about him and I stopped paying as much attention to him.  
(10:17)  
And now I'm losing him. But if I let myself see everything, what if I see too much? What if…

(10:25)  
 _What if what?_

(10:27)  
You know what, I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't be saying all this.

(10:28)  
 _If you need to let it out, you can do that, Iris. I'm here for you._

(10:30)  
I'm really sorry. It's just a lot, and I have no one to talk to about it. My dad raised me and Barry, so I can't talk to him. I definitely can't tell Eddie that sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to just… give in

(10:31)  
 _To what?_

(10:32)  
Idk, the inevitable?

(10:33)  
 _Iris, if you think whatever this is — whatever you think you might have or not have is inevitable, maybe… maybe you should talk to Eddie._

(10:36)  
And say what? "A meta-human framed you for murder and I spent hours thinking about how I couldn't tell something was off about Barry."  
(10:37)  
Your girlfriend came up to you with that, what would you do? Hear her out or walk out?

(10:39)  
 _Better question, what do you want him to do?_

.

.

(11:14p)  
I don't know

.

.

(2:36a)  
You know the show "How I Met Your Mother"? They have this dumb porch test, like can you imagine sitting on the porch with this person when you're super old and just like playing games and talking about the good old days.  
Since I saw it, I've seen me and Barry, and a picture of my dad visible through the window. & sometimes, I think I could see Eddie there too. But other times….

.

.

(9:47a)  
 _Go outside._

(9:48)  
Why?

(9:48)  
 _Go outside of your place, right now_

(9:49)  
Are you kidnapping me?

(9:50)  
 _You wish. Really, Iris, go outside_

(9:50)  
Fine. I'm coming.

.

(9:53)  
:D  
(9:53)  
My brownies

(9:54)  
 _The robbery was meta-related, so I owed you. + You look like you need them_

(9:56)  
I just woke up, you jerk

(9:58)  
 _Thought you were always up early_

(9:59)  
Well someone kept me up late

.

(10:04a)  
I meant you, Flash

(10:05)  
 _Oh_

(10:06)  
Thanks for the brownies


	4. (soon as you beat the boss) reply me

.

 **Part Four**

.

.

 **Today** (11:27am)  
These brownies might've been a bad idea haha. Eddie and Barry just ran off together, and I'm so bored already. All I'm doing is eating and researching and thinking way too much. At this rate, I won't even fit in the dress I wanted to wear for Captain Singh's wedding.

(11:30)  
 _You'll fit_

(11:31)  
Yes, you responded! Talk to me. Distract me.

(11:32)  
 _Can I at least get a topic?_

(11:33)  
ummmm  
(11:33)  
Are you ever gonna get married?

(11:34)  
 _Ohmygod why is marriage everywhere today? I don't even have a girlfriend right now_

* * *

(11:35)  
Mm, hard to explain sneaking off so much?

(11:36)  
 _Hard to explain a lot of things, but one day, with the right girl, marriage could be amazing_

(11:37)  
The one you loved before or a different one?

(11:37)  
 _You're awfully curious about my love life_

(11:38)  
I'm awfully curious period  
(11:38)  
(Awfully curious (period). I'm not really sure how to emphasize that correctly but it's purely professional partnerly curiosity)

(11:39)  
 _Ha, no judgment. I hear the suit does wonders for my figure ;)_

(11:41)  
Haven't gotten a good look. Kind of the problem with you always zipping around

(11:41)  
 _Kind of the point, Iris_

(11:42)  
-Shrug-

.

(11:45)  
 _Did you talk to Eddie yet?_

(11:47)  
He's been really busy today. Cases with my dad, passing files with Barry. We haven't crossed paths much today

(11:48)  
 _So you're avoiding him_

(11:48)  
When did I say that?

(11:49)  
 _Oh come on Iris, if you wanted to talk to him, you would have. You're out here chasing bad guys when your biggest problem right now is right in your living room_

(11:51)  
Eddie's not a problem

(11:52)  
 _But these secrets are. This doubt is. It's not either of your fault that there's this little rift between you two, but you've said it yourself — you've got to do something about it. Talk to him._

(11:54)  
Why do you want me to talk to him so bad? Are you looking out for your friend or are you just trying to pawn me off to him?

(11:55)  
 _You're both my friends. And I wouldn't pawn you off, not for anything_

(11:56)  
Anything? What about a new suit?

(11:56)  
 _You're deflecting.  
_ (11:56)  
 _New suit? What's wrong with mine?_

(11:57)  
I don't know, a brighter red would be nice.

(11:58)  
 _Funny you should mention that. We literally talked about that this morning_

(11:59)  
Who's we?

(11:59)  
 _Me, myself, and I_

(12:00p)  
Code names for whoever you're talking to in your headpiece?

(12:00)  
 _You noticed that?_

(12:01)  
Yup

(12:01)  
 _Ha, well, back to you and Eddie_

(12:02)  
Is he in the headpiece?

(12:02)  
 _No, but he is looking to talk to you. About something big_

(12:03)  
Are you two swapping advice now?  
(12:03)  
Save the city together and now you're bros?

(12:04)  
 _I doubt Eddie and I would ever really be bros._

(12:05)  
Does he know your identity?

(12:06)  
 _I am not saying anything._

(12:06)  
HE DOES?

(12:07)  
 _I said nothing. I'm saying nothing. I am neither confirming nor denying anyone's knowledge of my identity. Iris, we are not playing this game. It's secret for a reason. No hounding people about who knows me._

(12:09)  
Because you know I'd figure it out.  
(12:09)  
Why are you hiding, Flash?  
(12:10)  
Who's behind the speed suit?

(12:11)  
 _Okay, I'm out. Distract yourself_

(12:12)  
Noooooo :(

(12:12)  
 _Brought this on yourself :)_

(12:12)  
I'll drown my sorrows in the brownies then. Hmm, maybe they'll tell me your secret.

(12:13)  
 _Your superpower = talking to food_

(12:14)  
If only

.

(4:56p)  
 _So the boss that I have, the one I mentioned before, is so confusing, Iris. Like, I really trusted him, and sometimes it's like I still do, or still could. But even more confusing to me is the fact that my dad has never liked him. Not once. How did he know?_

(5:00p)  
Intuition? Sometimes Dads know so much more than we give them credit for.

(5:01)  
 _hm_

(5:03)  
My dad knew about Barry waaaay before I did. He, uh, kept it from me actually.

(5:04)  
 _Speaking on Barry's behalf, I don't think your dad could've just told you about Barry liking you. I mean, that'd be really messed up_

(5:06)  
More messed up than letting me be oblivious forever? Seriously, Flash, do you have any idea how many problems could've been solved? How many shitty relationships never needed to exist?

(5:07)  
 _No, I don't actually._

(5:09)  
Barry dated a girl I work with, and they broke up a few weeks ago, and she constantly gives me this look as if I should be doing something. Like, what does she expect me to do? Drop everything to be with her ex?

(5:10)  
 _I think she probably wants to feel like her relationship ended for a good reason_

(5:11)  
I mean, it did. The reason's that Barry didn't want to be with her

(5:12)  
 _But this happened after Barry told you how he felt, so obviously that doesn't help prove your point._

(5:13)  
My point?

(5:13)  
 _That if your dad had told you and you'd known about Barry's feelings sooner then you two could've been together_

(5:14)  
I didn't say that

(5:15)  
 _You implied it_

(5:15)  
But I didn't say it. It's not true.

(5:16)  
 _Why isn't it true?_

(5:16)  
Because it's not

(5:17)  
 _Okay then I guess I'm reading this whole conversation wrong. You said that if your dad had told you then shitty relationships wouldn't have existed_

(5:18)  
Yeah, but I just meant that we wouldn't have been hiding or dancing around moments

(5:18)  
 _Because you would've been together_

(5:19)  
Stop saying that

(5:19)  
 _I'll just stop talking altogether than because I can't see whatever you're trying to say here_

(5:21)  
Barry has a shitty taste in girlfriends. Not Linda. Linda was great. The kind of girl you could take bowling and probably drink beers between spares with. But the other girls were always so far removed, like he couldn't run far enough away from the idea of me and it totally wasn't good for him

(5:22)  
 _Did you say bowling?_

(5:22)  
Yeah, I love bowling. Barr and I used to go all the time. It's one of my favorite things in the world.

(5:23)  
 _You went bowling with Eddie_

(5:26)  
Why do you know that? Yeah, we went bowling a few weeks ago, back when Barry was dating Linda. Eddie's not very good, but he didn't grow up in the lanes sipping milkshakes so

(5:27)  
 _You two went bowling alone, a few weeks ago, and it was a good date I'm guessing, then Barry acted weird but you didn't get why. Then you pulled away from him and even closer to Eddie._

(5:29)  
Thanks for the recap. What does the bowling have to do with anything?

(5:30)  
 _I've got to go_

(5:30)  
Seriously?

.

(9:15p)  
 _You're a jealous person, kind of a petty kind of jealous. You're showy at times because you can be. Because you've earned it, and you're adorable so people usually don't even recognize that you're staking your claim._

(9:18)  
…could've sworn I said no therapy

(9:19)  
 _You're like a child that only recognizes they want something when they see it with someone else. Like answers, or… bowling_

(9:20)  
You're being really weird, Flash

(9:20)  
 _Sorry.  
_ (9:20)  
 _Shit, sorry._

.

(1:14a)  
 _A lot might be changing very soon, and I'm reflecting on some of the other changes that have happened. Some that didn't work so well in my favor. I'm kind of nervous actually. Thinking about bowling helped. Thinking about other stuff than boss stuff._

.

(8:19a)  
#goals

.

(8:30a)  
I meant to put partnership in the hashtag, but sleepy Iris didn't get that far  
(8:31)  
#partnershipgoals

.

(9:17a)  
 _We are definite partnership goals. More people should be like us_

(9:20)  
Like you and your boss?

(9:23)  
 _Yeah no, I don't think that my boss and I could ever get to this level. But, I am actually confronting him today. It's… terrifying, but if it goes well, this could be everything I've been working for._

(9:25)  
Well I hope it goes well then :)

(9:26)  
 _I can't wait to tell you about it, Iris._

(9:27)  
:D

.

(10:39a)  
Good things all around today. I just made the biggest breakthrough of my life. Of course, my best friend barely batted an eye at it. He walked right out of here, but I'm not wrong. I can't be wrong. There was literally no meta-human activity before the particle accelerator explosion. That's when everything changed, and I'm pretty sure that's when you got your powers. Right?

.

(11:00a)  
 _I can't tell you._

(11:02)  
Of course you can't

.

(3:27p)  
 _but it might have had something to do with it, yeah._

(3:30)  
Thank you, for the honesty.

(3:31)  
 _Look, you can't keep doing this forever_

(3:32)  
You're trying to get rid of me again ~

(3:33)  
 _& you're trying to avoid your problems by talking to me._

(3:35)  
oh my gosh, shut up. I'm actually about to go on a date with Eddie tonight, okay. We can talk about all kinds of things then

(3:36)  
 _Like… what we've been talking about, with Barry and everything?_

(3:39)  
Like whatever comes up. Eddie's got some kind of plan for tonight, nice dinner, nice stroll…

(3:40)  
 _Right, of course. Have a good time either way.  
_ (3:40)  
 _Oh and, be safe out there_

(3:42)  
Are you okay? "Be safe out there." You're being weird.

(3:43)  
 _You're being weird  
_ (3:43)  
 _Just have a good date, Iris_

(3:44)  
okaaaaaay

.

(9:16p)  
 _Hey, where are you?_

.

(9:17p)  
 _I know you're still on your date, but could you maybe text me?_

(9:17)  
 _Your dad says you're not answering. Iris, this is important._

 _._

(9:18p)  
 _Incoming Call from the Flash_

.

(9:19p)  
 _(1) New Voicemail from the Flash  
"Iris, where are you? You're in danger. The Man in Yellow's been watching you. Can you please answer your phone!?"_

.

(9:20p)  
 _Damnit, Iris, look at your fucking phone!_

.

.

(9:45p)  
…I put my phone on silent so I could talk to Eddie.

(9:46)  
 _Yeah well we called so we could save you and Eddie_

(9:46)  
Too little too late

(9:46)  
 _You weren't responsive_

(9:47)  
I would've been if you'd messaged any sooner than that. Tell me things and I'm super responsive.

(9:47)  
 _Noted for the future_

(9:48)  
Next time someone's after me, I'd kind of like to know before he snatches my boyfriend away.

(9:48)  
 _I tried, Iris. As soon as I could._

(9:49)  
After you confirmed, right? After you milled it over, talked about it with whoever's on the headset?

(9:50)  
 _You're projecting a lot of anger at me right now, and I don't think I deserve it. I can't be everywhere at once. I'm fast but that's fucking ridiculous. It's unreasonable._

(9:51)  
Sure. So sorry.

(9:51)  
 _How can a text sound so sarcastic?_

(9:52)  
Yeah, it's almost like you know me.

(9:52)  
 _We've been talking for a while._

(9:52)  
Yeah.  
(9:53)  
So, Flash, did you feel that spark?  
(9:53)  
When our hands touched?

(9:54)  
 _I'm all sparks, Iris. I can literally move like lightning._

(9:54)  
Why is that?  
(9:55)  
What happened to you? How did you get these powers? How long did it take you to train, or did you just… wake up one day, and you had them?

(9:56)  
 _I get that you're probably trying to cope with Eddie being in danger again, but fixating on me isn't gonna help beat the Man in Yellow_

(9:57)  
Have you fought him before?  
(9:57)  
The Man in Yellow?  
(9:58)  
When was that?

(10:00p)  
 _I haven't really gotten the chance to fight him before, but trust me, once I get my hands on him, I'm not stopping until I change every bit of what he's done. He's not hurting anyone else._

(10:02)  
Doesn't mean they won't still get hurt

(10:02)  
 _You're typing in code_

(10:03)  
You're smart. Figure it out.

(10:04)  
 _Seriously, Iris?_

.

.

(10:34p)  
 _Now I've got the cold shoulder too?_

.

.

(11:17p)  
 _Come on!_

.

.

(11:29p)  
 _What did I do?  
_ (11:30)  
 _Just tell me what I did wrong, Iris._

 _._

 _._


	5. (soon as you admit who you are) reply me

**an** : takes place in 1x22, if you want to see the episode

 **guide** : Plain text is Iris. Italics are _Flash_.

.

 **Part Five**

.

.

 **Today** (12:43a)  
 _You're just gonna keep watching me from up there?_

(12:44)  
It's creepy that you know what I'm doing

(12:44)  
 _It's creepy that you're staring at me from the roof of a building you don't even work in anymore. Iris, come on, what's going on? Why were you ignoring me?_

(12:45)  
Have you found Eddie yet?

(12:45)  
 _I'd tell you if I did_

(12:46)  
Because you tell me everything, right?

(12:46)  
 _Speaking in code again_

(12:47)  
I just mean, you wouldn't lie to me, right, Flash?

(12:48)  
 _Not if I could help it. Look, Iris, I really don't know what I did wrong. I'm trying to save Eddie. I got to you as quickly as I could. I don't even have a lot to tell you about my powers. I swear I want to tell you everything. I just can't._

(12:49)  
Why?

(12:49)  
 _It's not safe_

(12:49)  
Why?

(12:50)  
 _You saw the Man in Yellow. He kidnapped Eddie right in front of you._

(12:51)  
Why is he after you?

(12:51)  
 _I wish I knew_

(12:52)  
How long has he been after you? A few weeks? Since you got your powers? Your whole life?

(12:52)  
 _I don't know._

(12:53)  
right

(12:54)  
 _Yes! Right! I have no idea what he wants from me. I just know that he won't stop until I do, and there's no way I'm letting him take anyone else from me. That includes Eddie and that sure as hell includes you._

(12:55)  
Whatever

(12:56)  
 _Iris, PLEASE._

.

(1:28p)  
You tell me to trust you. Trust the Flash. Trust this mystical, mythical person. This person that I've been talking to for months now. First, through clandestine blog posts and shadowed rooftop meetings, and now literally any moment that I want, right at my fingertips. Yet, at the same time, you've been warning me not to. You tell me not to tell you so much, or that we should drop a conversation, and it didn't really make sense to me.  
(1:28)  
Why start talking to me if you didn't want me to tell you something?  
(1:29)  
Unless there were just certain things you didn't want to know. Certain topics that you felt should be off limits for this specific relationship. Because this is a relationship. One that's supposed to be based in trust, but how honest can we really be when this is our only form of communication? Where we can edit and manipulate? Where tones get construed so all you have are these words?  
(1:29)  
Words are so empty, Flash.  
(1:29)  
Words are such bullshit sometimes. Even our names are bullshit. Our identities.  
(1:30)  
Ha, I started drafting this blog post, but I figured it shouldn't be a blog post. It should just be a really long text message instead. So, I guess sorry for the spam. Though, I don't think you carry this phone on you all the time, so maybe you won't notice right away.  
(1:30)  
The basis of the post — Think about your best friend. It could be your wife, your father, maybe someone you grew up with. It's the person you can't wait to talk to at the end of the day. The person who knows everything about you, who roots for you. Now imagine you discover your best friend has a secret. No, not a secret. A universe of secrets. Would you confront him? Would you stay silent? Either way, you know nothing would ever be the same again.  
(1:31)  
So, what would you do, Flash? Because this is the second time that I've learned how big of a fucking liar my best friend is. Second time.

(1:32)  
Read these fast enough and maybe we won't do it in front of your friends.  
(1:33)  
Then again, I'm kind of looking forward to seeing the look on all of your faces. Caitlin, Cisco, and you.

(1:34)  
Turn around, Flash.

(1:35)  
 _Incoming Call from Iris West  
_ _"Whoa, Iris, you sent a lot of messages. What's going—"_

"Look at me, Barry."

 _"Wait, what. Iris, I'm not—"_

"Turn around. And don't you dare lie to me again."

 _"Iris, holy shit, you're — look, I am so, so sorry. I can't even begin to—"_

"You can't, so just save it."

 _"Can we not — I'm hanging up. We're not talking with our phones at our sides."_

"That's the only way you've talked to me recently, so—"

 _"Oh my god. In the track room. Come on."_

"Don't touch me. Don't—"

 _"Just go. Let's talk!"_

"Then talk, Barry! Talk about why you lied to my face, multiple times, and you fucking lied to me on here too. What's the truth, Barry?"

 _"Put the phone down, and I will tell you. Just, no more games."_

"Fine."

 _"Thank you."_

.

.

(2:00p)  
 _Okay, so that didn't really work out the way that I'd hoped. I get that you probably want space, so I'll send this and then I'll give it to you. Is that okay?  
_ (2:03)  
 _You like just walked out of STAR Labs, and I feel like I should've followed you. I should've done more to keep you here, but I should've done more a long time ago too.  
_ _I can't imagine the situation I put you in, and I have seriously never read that many texts in a row from one person. That was a lot that you said before the sneak attack phone call. You typed a lot, and you guessed spot on who I was working with, so that's a plus. A+ detecting skills. Like always.  
_ (2:04)  
 _Now I know it might not seem like it, but you CAN still trust me, Iris. Both me's. I'm here for you, and I've always been here for you._ _Those aren't empty words. That's me, at my core. There is no me without you at this point, and I should've said something sooner, but once you gave me the phone, you were talking to me as the Flash in a way that you hadn't talked to Barry Allen in so long. I didn't want to lose that.  
_ (2:05)  
 _You're probably at CCPN right now. Hiding out with articles, re-checking everything with this new confirmation. Could you maybe, at least, lock the door? It's not much, but Wells is still out there.  
_ (2:05)  
 _Not that I'm trying to protect you or anything. You told me not to. But, whenever you do want to talk, I'm here. Or, more accurately, in person, I'm at STAR Labs.  
_ (2:07)  
 _I really am sorry, Iris._

.

.

(10:00p)  
 _I hope you have a good night_

.

.

Today (6:00p)  
Still at STAR Labs?

(6:14)  
 _Yes. We — earlier today we — caught the gold robber actually._

(6:16)  
You know you have shit security, right? That's probably not good for your whole operation.

(6:17)  
 _:) I will file a complaint._

.

(7:34p)  
 _Before I go down in the sewer, do you, uh, want the phone back?_

(7:35)  
Keep it. It's prepaid anyway.

(7:35)  
 _Right. Forgot about that. I'm leaving it up there though. You can call my normal number, for emergencies._

(7:36)  
You're on a headset, Barry

(7:36)  
 _It's so weird to see my name on this phone_

.

(9:49p)  
 _Incoming Call from Iris West  
_ "You walked away from me."

 _"Yeah, well, you weren't saying anything. Standing there, staring at me like I was wrong when we both know that I wasn't. You keep shutting down when I mention feelings with you, but obviously you have them. Things aren't as simple as you want them to be, and I know it's true because you all but told the Flash that you have feelings for me."_

"And what, Barry? You think now's the time to talk about this? My dad's in a sewer with a mind-controlling gorilla. My boyfriend's who-knows-where with the man who killed your mom. And you want to talk about feelings?"

 _"I want to talk to my best friend."_

"Then you should've done it months ago. God, you said that I talked to you differently as the Flash, but we could've had that — all of that — if you'd been honest with me from the beginning."

 _"You don't know that."_

"I could've helped with Wells. How long did it take you to figure out who he was and what he was up to? Imagine if I'd known about the powers and all that stuff back when Mason was first suspecting Wells. We could've put this together months ago and kept Eddie out of all of this."

 _"Right because if you'd known about the Flash, you wouldn't have been dating Eddie?"_

"If I'd known about the Flash, then I wouldn't be feeling like this right now. I said I was disappointed, and I mean that, but Barr — Barry — do you even know how wrong this was?"

 _"You gave me—"_

"I gave the Flash a way to communicate. I gave him conversations that I would never have had with you because they were about you. I…. It's a violation of trust—"

 _"That's an exaggeration—"_

"It's the truth! You don't get it! You don't have to get it, just respect what I'm saying right now. You're… you're not the guy I thought you were. You're a shitty partner for lying to me and withholding information. You're a shitty superhero for being found out. You're also a really shitty friend both to me and to Eddie. You practically pushed me to break up with him."

 _"Because you wanted to."_

"I wanted to talk about it. I wanted to figure out what I'm feeling because you've had fifteen years with your stuff, Barry. I haven't even had a year. And I've got an amazing guy who loves me. We live together. We ordered little labels with our names on them. I don't care about what it is that you think you did. I'm telling you that you hurt me, and that if you ever keep something from me again, there is absolutely no going back."

 _"So there's a going back now? We can fix this."_

"I don't know."

 _"Iris… I can't lose you."_

"You really should've thought about that sooner…. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called. I should've left it alone when you went to check on Cisco and Caitlin. I'll… I'll be back whenever the tech's ready."

 _"Iris, just—"_

.

.

(12:04a)  
 _I'm coming up to the roof. If you read this, and you don't want me to, then tell me to stop._

.

(12:56a)  
 _You might not know what comes next, but I've got a pretty good idea that we get past this. We move forward from this. It's okay, if you need time. Totally okay. We're gonna get Eddie back, and work through this. But, Iris, I don't want to text you from this phone anymore._

(1:00a)  
No offense, but I don't really care what you want, Barr.

(1:01)  
 _We both know that's a lie. You don't just stop caring about someone, not someone you love._

(1:03)  
Did you find Eddie yet?

(1:04)  
 _I've been with you. When would I have looked?_

(1:05)  
So we're back to that bad friend thing, huh?

(1:07)  
 _Bad friend again. How long are you gonna keep that up?_

(1:08)  
I don't know

(1:09)  
 _Your favorite phrase tonight_

(1:10)  
I'm going to bed

(1:11)  
 _ **Night, Iris**_

(1:12)  
Night, Barry.

.

.

 _ **an** : Okay, tell me how this was for you bc I debated whether or not I should fully transcribe conversations from the episode into this or if it could stand alone without having those conversations between Barry and Iris (the one in the track room, and the one on the roof) within the chapter._

 _Does it work? Should I revise this chapter and add more of that into it? Tell me your thoughts._

 _[Barry's phone = underlined / bolded on tumblr]_


	6. (soon as you get me through the night)

**an:** takes place in between 1x22 and 1x23, Eddie's missing. / there's references to the Pixar movie, "Inside Out," in this chapter.

 **guide** : Plain text is Iris. Italics are _Flash_.

.

 **Part Six**

.

.

 **Today** (11:03p)  
 _Another night, another 30 locations that came up empty_

(11:05)  
Thirty? Seriously, where the fck is he hiding? I don't get it.

(11:06)  
 _Maybe Wells isn't even hiding anymore. Maybe he's just so fast that his particles can't be seen by our eyes ~ He's invisible._

(11:08)  
Be serious  
(11:08)  
You're kidding, right? That's not possible

(11:09)  
 _Anything's possible at this point, Iris_

(11:11)  
That's the opposite of comforting, jsyk. [[MORE]]

(11:11)  
 _Sorry_

(11:13)  
It's whatever. I just wish I could tell people about this. Eddie's out there with a time traveling super villain and everyone just thinks he went on a freaking vacation. No one's looking for Wells either, so it's just you and 30 locations a night.

(11:15)  
 _Hey, just me can cover a lot of ground_

(11:16)  
But you can't be everywhere, Barr. You can't see everything, or we'd already have him.

(11:16)  
 _I hear you, but I don't think he's moving around anywhere. If he was, then we'd see the yellow and know._

(11:17)  
Ugh

(11:18)  
 _Ugh is right. But we'll find him, eventually._

(11:19)  
I know, it's just… quiet here without Eddie

(11:19)  
 _You could come back to the house._

(11:20)  
It's the middle of the night, Barr

(11:20)  
 _I can come get you_

(11:21)  
Don't come get me. That's not what I want.

(11:21)  
 _You'd rather be alone over there?_

(11:22)  
If Wells wanted me, he would've taken me a long time ago. I'm not the target here.

(11:22)  
 _You can't be sure. He's done a lot of twisted stuff_

(11:23)  
Like lying to you?

(11:24)  
 _[Don't] like everything with my mom & mentoring me only to reveal that he's out to kill me_

(11:26)  
Semantics?  
(11:26)  
Wait that was petty.

(11:27)  
 _It was, but you've earned it._

(11:28)  
I really can't leave, Barry.  
(11:28)  
What if Eddie gets free and comes home, and I'm not here for him?

(11:29)  
 _He'll know you were with us, keeping you safe_

(11:32)  
He won't see it like that. You don't know how much you still bug him. He might act like you don't, but if he came back from being kidnapped and found us living together, he would flip. He would see it as some kind of confirmation that you're trying to take me from him

(11:33)  
 _You're not easily taken_

(11:33)  
He would love to argue with you about that one.  
(11:37)  
You say you want us to talk, right? Well, ever since you told me about your feelings, Eddie's been… territorial. Sometimes, it goes away, and other times, it's like I look at you for a second too long, or I touch my ring, and he pulls away into this shell. Or like a time capsule in his head where he can go back to before we knew about how you felt. Back to before the idea of you and me was even a possibility

(11:38)  
 _I'm sorry I confused things_

(11:43)  
It happens. It's just /really/ confusing sometimes. For all of us. We ordered these labels a while back, and I remember being so weirded out about having mailing labels again. Remember we had some? In like… sixth grade? Dad ordered a bunch because we wanted to feel all grown up, but we still got like Looney Tunes labels and we barely ever used them. We sent letters to ourselves because we had no one else to use them on

(11:44)  
 _The mailman would just pick them up and put them back in the box_

(11:45)  
Exactly, and now I'm like, when am I gonna get the chance to use them? Who would I send stuff to?

(11:46)  
 _Me, Joe probably. Oh, Cisco. He'd geek out over getting actual mail again_

(11:48)  
I just don't have the same excitement that I thought I would have. Eddie and I… we're great, but him being gone isn't helping the emotional distance we've been having. Not being able to see him and touch him  
(11:50)  
I'm worried that it's going to change how I see him

(11:51)  
 _I'm starting to wonder if I should know all this_

(11:52)  
Don't you dare back out now, Barry. You asked for this.

(11:53)  
 _Yeah but_

(11:53)  
Don't yeah but

(11:53)  
 _Sorry. Uh, if the absence changes how you see him, then it's probably just the natural way you're responding. You're putting up more distance between the two of you to protect yourself from the thought of losing him_

(11:55)  
So not something else then?

(11:55)  
 _Not unless you want it to be  
_ (11:56)  
 _When I was out, you didn't feel that constant connection, right?_

(12:00a)  
I mean no but  
(12:01)  
That's different

(12:01)  
 _You keep saying that!_

(12:05)  
Because it's different! The situations are totally different. You fell into a coma, and I could still see you and be around you. I could tell you about my first date with Eddie, or how Dad shot me down again when I mentioned joining the force another time. I could read you articles and see that you were still breathing and technically alive.

(12:06)  
 _You tried to join the force again?_

(12:08)  
I wanted to do something. I felt hopeless, and Dad didn't have a partner. I don't even know what I was thinking outside of wanting to help.  
(12:09)  
Dad said last thing he needed was to lose me too, so #JittersForLife

(12:10)  
 _For what it's worth, I'm pretty sure you'd be a great detective._

(12:11)  
Just not here in Central City

(12:12)  
 _You're on a more elite force #TeamFlash_

(12:13)  
Team Flash doesn't have dental

(12:14)  
 _We've got a private hospital though  
_ (12:14)  
 _& as if you need it. Your smile's been perfect your whole life_

(12:17)  
Until some meta comes along and socks me right in the jaw. Screws up my whole face. I'll have to hide.

(12:18)  
 _That meta will have to hide. No one gets to hurt you_

(12:19)  
What did I say about trying to save me?

(12:20)  
 _You want me to leave you alone completely? I definitely can't do that, Iris. If someone's coming at you with a gun, I'm gonna run to you._

(12:21)  
Faster than a speeding bullet, right?

(12:21)  
 _True, but wrong hero slogan_

(12:23)  
Barry?

(12:23)  
 _Yeah, Iris?_

(12:23)  
Answer the phone

(12:24)  
 _Incoming Call from Iris West  
_ _"You know, you could call my actual phone. Or, I mean…."_

"You mean…?"

 _"Uh, nothing."_

"Barr."

 _"I was gonna say that I could go to you."_

"…"

 _"I could sleep on the couch! And-and then you wouldn't have to be alone, but you wouldn't be replacing Eddie or setting off any of his alarms. You'd be there waiting for him, and I'd just… be there if you need me."_

"I don't know if that's a good idea."

 _"Or, I could stay over until you fall asleep, and then lock up after myself. Oh! We could have a movie night. You won't believe the quality bootlegs that Cisco has found. He puts everything in Dropbox, and you know that this is the perfect time to—"_

"Okay."

 _"…Okay?"_

"A movie actually sounds pretty great. And maybe some brownies…"

 _"We'd have to bake them. I don't have any made."_

"Perfect, it'll be a real sleepover then."

 _"I get to stay?"_

"Not so fast, Flash."

 _"Cute."_

"Aren't I always?"

 _"Right…."_

"I can hear you thinking, Barry."

 _"I know you're worried about losing Eddie, but… trust me, leaving you and doubting you are so far away from his mind. He, uh, really loves you. Nothing Wells could do can change that."_

"…"

 _"I'll be there soon."_

"Knock when you— okay, now you're just showing off."

 _"You gonna let me in or what?"_

"Show off and a smart ass. How great."

.

Today (4:13p)  
 _Iris  
_ (4:13)  
 _Iris  
_ (4:13)  
 _Iris!_

(4:15)  
What!?

(4:15)  
 _Take her to the moon for me_

(4:16)  
STOP SAYING THAT  
(4:16)  
Too soon. I cried not even twelve hours ago.

(4:17)  
 _But you know Joy totally takes her to the moon eventually. Just, you know, a happiness moon_

(4:18)  
You're awful

(4:18)  
 _I'm your best friend_

(4:19)  
Still awful

(4:19)  
 _So you don't wanna go to the moon?_

(4:20)  
I want you to stop referencing sad Pixar movies

(4:20)  
 _Need I remind you who chose the movie?_

(4:21)  
I wanted happy!

(4:21)  
 _Pixar makes sad-happy. Bittersweet is what they do. Remember Monsters Inc?_

(4:22)  
Okay, I'm done. I'm out. Stop texting me

(4:23)  
 _But Iriiiiiis  
_ (4:23)  
 _I'm restless over here. We have no new cases, no leads. All I'm doing are random blood samples that I've already run._

(4:25)  
You could check the sewers for Eddie

(4:26)  
 _I did that this morning  
_ (4:27)  
 _Down every drain from here to Starling City_

(4:30)  
You're exaggerating

(4:31)  
 _Ask Felicity. We had lunch. She wouldn't sit at the same table because I smelled sO BAD_

(4:32)  
You've taken a shower since then?

(4:32)  
 _Three_

(4:33)  
You could type up these notes for me. Save me a little time

(4:34)  
 _You're making me your secretary?_

(4:35)  
More like an intern.

(4:36)  
 _Unpaid internships are the worst kind of labor  
_ (4:36)  
 _One of* the worst kinds of labor. I'm aware there's worse, but really, if I'm doing the work, I should be paid_

(4:38)  
I'll pay you in coffee

(4:39)  
 _How about dinner?_

(4:41)  
Barry…

(4:42)  
 _Okay, when did we reach this point where I can't just suggest things? It's a friendly dinner, a compensation for friendly favors_

(4:43)  
Or quid-pro-quo sexual harassment, if we're still on that intern thing

(4:44)  
 _Now who's the worst?_

(4:47)  
Type these notes, and /maybe/ we can do dinner. I've got a pasta recipe I really want to try, and you're kind of a human garbage disposal

(4:48)  
 _Okay, be there soon_

.

(7:19p)  
You left your jacket here

(7:20)  
 _Don't really need it. Not outside much_

(7:22)  
Okay

(7:24)  
 _Why do I get the feeling you have more to say than that?_

(7:25)  
Because I spent all of dinner staring at my plate?

(7:27)  
 _And they weren't even the good plates. What's up, Iris?_

(7:30)  
I don't know, it's hard sometimes to really picture the fact that there's so much I don't know about your life now. All these stories I wasn't a part of, all kinds of danger I never even knew you were in.

(7:32)  
 _What do you want to know?_

(7:33)  
Everything?

(7:33)  
 _Ha, I'm gonna need a starting point_

(7:35)  
Okay, what's the worst thing you did with your powers?

(7:36)  
 _Uh, probably go back in time_

(7:36)  
You can do that?

(7:37)  
 _Once. Probably could do it again, but it's a pretty bad idea. I mean, it was worth it, but it definitely caused some changes I wasn't expecting._

(7:38)  
Like what?

(7:38)  
 _Uhh… okay, remember when I mentioned bowling?_

(7:39)  
Yeah, you were so weird

(7:42)  
 _Before I went back in time, I went on a date with Linda, and we ended up in this weird double date with you and Eddie. You got oddly… territorial when we were there, like you went into autopilot and only cared about me and our connection rather than anything else. You spoke mostly to me, and you were definitely staking your claim. I have no idea what happened directly after, but it had to have made something click because later you…_

(7:44)  
I…?

(7:45)  
 _I feel like I'm not supposed to be saying any of this, yet here I am texting it to you_

(7:46)  
You already started this story, Barry. You can't just take it back

(7:47)  
 _I'm just recognizing that it probably wasn't a good idea.  
_ (7:48)  
 _Wells told me that I shouldn't tell people what happened in other timelines, and you're already so unsure about you and Eddie and you and me_

(7:50)  
Tell me what happened

(7:52)  
 _The whole city was about to be destroyed, and Mardon had Joe, and between the bowling and the intense moment at CCPD and —I don't know—the world ending, you said that the reason you couldn't stop thinking about me was because you didn't want to._

(7:58)  
Whoa

(8:02)  
 _I only remember it because I was the one to change the timeline, but when I got here, you'd totally forgotten about it and about that moment when it clicked for you. I don't hold you to it. I don't expect anything necessarily but, I think that's one of the worst thing that I've done. I took that moment away from us._

(8:08)  
But what about Eddie?

(8:09)  
 _Uh I'm pretty sure he was looking for Mardon at the time. You and me went off together because Mardon called you specifically so that you could be there to see Joe die_

(8:11)  
I meant, if I said that, what about Eddie? What was I thinking when it came to him and everything that would change?

(8:12)  
 _We didn't do much talking after you said that_

(8:13)  
Oh my god

(8:13)  
 _Not like that!  
_ (8:14)  
 _Kind of like that, but not  
_ (8:14)  
 _Joe was in danger. We kissed. But then I went back in time and now technically it never happened_

(8:15)  
OH MY GOD

(8:16)  
 _See this is why I wasn't supposed to tell you_

(8:17)  
Because I'd freak out?

(8:18)  
 _Because you're freaking out, yeah. Uh, did you have any other questions?_

(8:19)  
Not anymore. Not about anything else

(8:21)  
 _Really? No other questions?_

(8:24)  
What was it like?

.

(9:30)  
 _I've been drafting this message for an hour now, Iris. Typing and retyping and it's so hard to explain to you what that moment felt like. Like every dream and hope that I'd had was finally going to come true, like if I could just run fast enough to stop Mardon then we could go back into that moment and be there forever, like…giving over to an instinct that's been dismissed for too long._

 _You couldn't stop thinking about me, and I haven't stopped thinking about you since we were twelve. I mean, I cupped your face like I've done hundreds of times, but instead of holding you and telling you that we'd figure it out (like I did when Mardon took Joe) or when Joe first said you couldn't join the force and you broke down after not talking him for days, remember?_

 _But this was…. I keep trying to describe it, but it's not easy because this wasn't just some moment or some kiss. It was our moment, our first moment_

(9:35)  
And I don't remember any of it

(9:36)  
 _I wish I could give that back to you_

(9:38)  
Well you can't. You can't give back any of the times we could've had or would've had if you didn't insist on keeping things to yourself. You can't go back, and I feel like maybe we shouldn't try to

(9:39)  
 _What does that even mean?_

(9:41)  
We're in a weird place right now, and I can't tell if spending so much time together is helping or hurting things

(9:43)  
 _Please don't cut me out again, Iris. We're getting better._

(9:45)  
Better at what?

(9:46)  
 _I don't know_

(9:47)  
Neither do I.  
(9:48)  
I'm gonna go to bed early tonight. I'll talk to you later.

(9:49)  
 _I shouldn't have told you, should I?_

(9:51)  
I'm happy you did

(9:52)  
 _Are you really?_

(9:54)  
I have to be. Night, Barry

.

(11:01p)  
If you can go back in time, why not go back and save Eddie?

(11:08)  
 _I don't really know how I did it the first time, or what might happen. Time travel's kind of complicated_

(11:10)  
More complicated than the rest of this?

(11:12)  
 _Even if I tried, there's no guarantee it'd work or that I'd even be able to stop Wells from grabbing him._

(11:14)  
You'd be a step ahead. You could lock Wells up, and tell me the truth, and we'll figure everything else out from there.

(11:15)  
 _Iris, I can't.  
_ (11:16)  
 _Wells warned me against messing with the timeline._

(11:19)  
Wells also killed your mom and kidnapped my boyfriend, but sure, listen to him now.

(11:21)  
 _I will._

(11:22)  
Fine then.

(11:23)  
 _Great._

(11:27)  
But you could start all over, Barry. You could try the trap you tried with Cisco but even better this time since you know exactly what Wells did to get away. You can tell me about being the flash rather than letting me find out. You only have to go back /one week/

(11:30)  
 _And if something goes wrong? Iris, I can't keep creating alternate timelines._

(11:32)  
Even if they're better for everyone?

(11:33)  
 _There is no "better for everyone." I saved Joe and Cisco, but then Cisco got kidnapped and Snart got an even better cold gun and a matching one for his sister. I already have to go back in time at least one more time, to be there to save myself when Wells tries to kill my mom. I can't risk doing any more damage._

(11:35)  
Whatever you say, Flash

(11:36)  
 _24 hours ago, we were fine_

(11:40)  
Twenty four hours ago, I didn't know you had the power to reverse all of this. But it's fine, keep searching thirty spots a day and I'll keep waiting in hopes that the other Flash slips up or comes out of hiding long enough to be found. Who knows? Maybe he'll get enough speed to go back in time on his own.  
(11:41)  
I wonder what he'll change, what other lives he'll ruin

(11:42)  
 _That's not fair_

(11:43)  
Tell me one thing that's been fair about any of this  
(11:43)  
No, seriously, tell me  
(11:44)  
What's fair here, Barry?  
(11:44)  
What's the right thing to do?

(11:45)  
 _Not this._

(11:47)  
Hey, okay, you're the hero

(11:48)  
 _I am, and I'm the one who has to live with whatever happens because of that  
_ (11:48)  
 _We might be a team, but ultimately I'm the one in the suit. I'm the Flash._

(11:50)  
But we are a team, aren't we? Why not make it a vote?

(11:52)  
 _Because it doesn't have to be. This is up to me, not anyone else. I will keep looking everywhere I can and I will find Eddie, but I'm not messing with time just so you can run away from your feelings a little longer  
_ (11:53)  
 _Don't even try to say that's not what this is about because all you want is for me to give you an out. You want to avoid this, but you can't.  
_ (11:54)  
 _No matter the timeline, no matter whether or not you have a boyfriend or know if I'm the Flash, you feel the same way about me as I do about you. And saving Eddie won't change that. Going back in time won't change that. And you letting out all your anger, or shutting me down, or ignoring me and giving these awful clipped leading answers to everything will NOT CHANGE THAT.  
_ (11:55)  
 _It won't make it any easier either. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.  
_ (11:55)  
 _Now good night, Iris._

.

.


	7. (soon as you find Eddie) reply me

**an:** takes place throughout 1x22, "Rogue Air"

 **guide:** Plain text is Iris. Italics are _Flash_. Bold italics mean **_Barry_**.

.

 **Part Seven**

.

.

 **Today** (10:13a)  
That was rude

(10:14)  
 _It was honest at least_

(10:16)  
It was still rude. Unnecessarily blunt and crass and you're acting like you have it all figured out, but you don't, Barry. You don't know any more than I do about what to do in this situation so let me tell you right now that going off on me does not help anything. If anything, it actually makes this more difficult. More complicated and frustrating because it's bullshit.

(10:16)  
 _Bullshit?_

(10:18)  
Yes! You don't like the way I'm handling all of this so you're just trying to reinforce everything you know. Repeating over and over how I supposedly feel about you, but here's the thing — I get to say that. Not you.  
(10:20)  
I don't want to hear you, or my dad, or anyone else tell me that I love you, Barry. My feelings, my (current) experience, my words. [[MORE]]

(10:21)  
 _Fine_

(10:21)  
Good

(10:22)  
 _Do you want to hear my words?_

(10:23)  
Not right now, no

(10:24)  
 _Fine. I've got spaces to search_

(10:26)  
Come by the house later?

(10:26)  
 _Just tell me when_

(10:28)  
And Barry?

(10:29)  
 _Yeah?_

(10:30)  
I'm sorry for putting all that on you. If Wells does something else, it's not your fault. None of what he does is on you.

(10:32)  
 _Thanks.  
_ (10:32)  
 _And I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gone off like that._

(10:33)  
Or told me how I felt?

(10:34)  
 _That too. You're the only one who knows, and it's your moment — shouldn't try to take that from you or force it when it's not there. I just… this isn't any easier for me, Iris._

(10:35)  
Tell me about it tonight?

(10:36)  
 _Maybe_

(10:37)  
Okay. I'll let you know when to head over

.

(6:00p)  
Can you meet me at Jitters tonight? Just for a little bit?

(6:02)  
 _Time?_

(6:04)  
I'm here now, so whenever you can get over here

(6:05)  
 _[I just want to send lightning bolt emojis right now but they're not red. Be there in a flash~]_

.

(6:15)  
I kind of had hoped to be able to talk longer

(6:16)  
 _I know Cisco has some theory about Wells and his wheelchair. I'll be back_

(6:20)  
It's fine, just, um, I'm walking around with labels that have my name next to my missing boyfriend's and I'm not even sure why I have them with me. Like, what sort of self-torturing, masochistic bullshit is it to just stare at them in different spaces? I want to throw some out because there's really no point in having that many labels, you know? 2000 is ridiculous. But throwing them out feels like I'm saying there's not a future, like we couldn't have all these things to send out. I mean, who knows?  
(6:23)  
We could get married one day and need to send hundreds of thank you cards and invitations. That could use labels. Or we could send everyone a copy of the paper from the first time I get a story that has absolutely nothing to do with the Flash. Or…  
(6:26)  
I dunno, send out a bunch of letters just giving other people labels because we don't need 'em anymore because he's still missing. I keep asking myself, at what point should I tell his family? When do I contact his old college friends and make sure they know that he isn't just ignoring their event invites but that I don't know his laptop password so I can't respond with a No?  
(6:28)  
Should I have Cisco hack into his computer? Just to keep people from worrying too much?

(6:30)  
 _Cisco's gonna be a little busy. We kind of had a breakthrough over here.  
_ (6:31)  
 _Wells is charging up the particle accelerator. Get over here asap_

(6:32)  
Holy shit, I'm on my way.

.

(6:45)  
He's here! Barry, Eddie's here too.  
(6:45)  
We found him :'D  
(6:45)  
but um that's not all I found

.

(10:05p)  
I'm watching him sleep, Barr. And he's right next to me, but it's like….  
(10:08)  
I expected him to be beaten or bruised, but he's just quiet. All clipped responses and no hint of that light that used to be there when he looked at me.  
(10:10)  
But it's not like when Everyman was pretending to be you, that was just like I wasn't there, but this is… a different sort of hollow, like he sees me but it's not completely me that he sees, like there's something else right in between us.(10:12)  
It's understandable of course. People change. After stuff like this, after bad stuff happens with impossible villains who act like scientists for fifteen years. People change. But at least I have him home. Right?

(10:13)  
 _Right._

(10:15)  
Right. It's just the first night. It'll be better tomorrow. We'll talk, and he'll see that I'm still here for him, just like I was before.

(10:17)  
 _…you said something about finding something else, with him, what was it?_

(10:19)  
I shouldn't have said that. It's kind of a thing that Eddie and I should talk about first.

(10:20)  
 _Of course_

(10:22)  
What happened after we left? With Wells?

(10:24)  
 _He reactivated the accelerator! He's fully charging it up and turning it on for who knows why, and now we have to find a way to save all the metas down there. I think we have to move them_

(10:26)  
Where would you take them? How would you take them?

(10:27)  
 _If Joe can get a police escort, we can get them to Lian Yu — private island that they would never be able to get off of_

(10:29)  
Lifetime imprisonment?

(10:30)  
 _Don't say it like that. We can still figure out how to take their powers eventually, then they can go to Iron Heights or something. But for now, we just need them to be safe_

(10:32)  
You can't just knock them out, or strip them of their powers long enough for them to be out of the way of a blast?

(10:34)  
 _We have, at most, 33 hours until the accelerator is back online. We can't reverse engineer something for each of them in that time._

(10:36)  
But haven't you come up with something for each of them before? You brought each of them down, so you've got something.

(10:37)  
 _Nothing that can last as long as we need it to. We don't know how long Wells is gonna terrorize us, and having them here won't make it any easier._

(10:39)  
Okay, so they've got be moved.  
(10:40)  
But a police escort is gonna be impossible. No way Cecile lets it happen if she knows what it's for.  
(10:41)  
What if you take them? Like you knock them out with whatever Caitlin can kick up, then you flash them over, one at a time to whatever you're transporting them in?

(10:42)  
 _That sounds kind of… risky, I don't know_

(10:45)  
It doesn't take you long to run between cities, Barr. You could make a drop on your own and be back in so much less time than a vehicle would take, and that's even with the added weight slowing you down or needing to take stops. Just think about it.

(10:46)  
 _I could think about it. Hey, you okay over there?_

(10:47)  
I have to be

(10:48)  
 _You don't have to be anything more than you are. And they say that being honest with yourself when you're helping someone is one of the best ways to help the both of you. Don't push aside your feelings because he's going through something too_

(10:50)  
Thanks, Barr. I just miss him, and I thought that when he got back, I wouldn't feel like this. Like

(10:53)  
 _Like?_

(10:56)  
Sorry, he woke up and saw me. He doesn't seem happy about the texting. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

(10:57)  
 _Night, Iris_

(10:58)  
Night, Barr

.

(9:23a)  
He left without even waking me up. I mean, he woke me up while getting ready, but he just kept going, didn't even try to talk to me.

(9:25)  
 _Maybe he can't?_

(9:28)  
But I can help him. If we have this great relationship and this amazing love or whatever else he was saying on that bridge two weeks ago, then why the fuck can't he look at me? What happened to him, Barry?

(9:29)  
 _Only he can answer that_

(9:31)  
Well he needs to.

(9:32)  
 _Iris, you can't force him to talk to you if he's not ready. You know that._

.

(9:40a)  
 _Iris, tell me you won't push him._

.

(9:45a)  
 _Iris?_

.

(10:00a)  
He probably knows something about what Wells is up to. Eddie has answers that could help us, and helping us — helping save Central City and take down the person who kidnapped him? Yeah, that'll make up for anything that happened.

(10:02)  
 _…I can't talk you out of this, can I?_

(10:03)  
Nope!  
(10:04)  
Don't worry, I'll be subtle. Totally supportive and approachable.  
(10:05)  
Any chance you know where he is?

(10:06)  
 _Joe saw him at CCPD._

(10:07)  
Seriously?  
(10:07)  
Workaholics, I swear.

(10:08)  
 _You know that's not it_

(10:10)  
I know, I just thought making a joke would go over better than mentioning how he's instantly distancing himself from me and whatever he just went through.  
(10:11)  
Guess it didn't

(10:12)  
 _:)  
_ _My unsolicited advice? Remind him that you're there and then let him take the space he needs for whatever he needs to work through. He loves you, Iris. He'll open up eventually_

(10:14)  
Remember when we were kids and we played hide and seek?  
(10:14)  
At your house?

(10:15)  
 _Yeah, Joe flipped out when he found out about it. Grounded us both, took off work for a few days._

(10:18)  
I didn't wait until you were ready to talk then, Barry. I just followed you into it. I stuck it out and went where you needed to take it. And this is definitely not the same situation, but I think that strategy worked for me then, so why not now?

(10:19)  
 _Can't really argue with that logic. One request though?  
_ (10:20)  
 _Don't play hide and seek in the accelerator._

(10:21)  
~ no promises ~

.

(11:13a)  
What else do you know about the future?

(11:14)  
 _Not much_

(11:15)  
So you don't know anything about me? Or… us?

(11:16)  
 _What did Eddie say? What did Wells say to him?_

(11:18)  
So you do know?

(11:19)  
 _I don't know what I know, Iris. What do you know?_

(11:21)  
You're a shitty liar, Barry, even over texts. Did you know about the ring too?

(11:22)  
 _Iris, please don't do this. Please don't push at me because of what someone else said._

(11:23)  
Answer my questions, and there's no push

(11:25)  
 _Eddie told me about the ring. It's what he wanted at the waterfront, and he was going to propose and keep you safe from Wells while we tried to take down the Reverse Flash._

(11:27)  
But the Reverse Flash kidnapped Eddie instead and told him all about the future where apparently Eddie and I don't get married.  
(11:28)  
We do.

(11:29)  
 _We do._

(11:30)  
How long have you known?

(11:31)  
 _gosh, uh… months?_

.

(12:00p)  
 _You said be honest_

.

(1:43p)  
Captain Cold? That's your back up plan?

(1:44)  
 _Joe told you?_

(1:46)  
You should've told me! God, Barry, what the fuck? Transporting them yourself isn't a good idea but working with a villain is? He kidnapped Cisco!

(1:48)  
 _But he has a code of honor that can help us out here. He and his sister are going to get the metas to the air field, and everything is going to be great. They'll be safe, and that's five more lives that aren't completely ruined by Wells and his evil doing_

(1:50)  
OR that's five metas released into the world because Snart comes up with something a little more profitable than sending them away.

(1:51)  
 _Like what?_

(1:53)  
Like releasing them and having them in his debt. It'd be perfect, and he'd get what he wanted from you and what he can get from them in the future.

(1:54)  
 _He won't do that_

(1:55)  
And what if he does?

(1:56)  
 _I don't know_

(1:56)  
You don't know?

(1:57)  
 _Nobody knows, Iris. We'll find out when we get there.  
_ (1:58)  
 _Cisco's got a truck that can dampen their powers, and then we just need to get it there._

(2:00p)  
You don't need them, and the more they know about your plan and how this works, the more they can sabotage it without you even knowing it's coming

(2:01)  
 _I'm smart too, okay? I know to be on my lookout_

(2:02)  
But you don't have a contingency plan. You can't stop a cold gun, Barry.

(2:03)  
 _Not everyone works with contingency plans. Oliver doesn't, Cold doesn't, so why can't I just do what needs to be done and be done with it?_

(2:05)  
Because that's not who you are, Barry, and the more you try to act like it is? You're gonna make mistakes, and it's gonna cost a lot more than a grounding

(2:07)  
 _You don't think I know that?_

(2:09)  
I think you're ignoring it. Just come up with a plan with me, please.

(2:11)  
 _I guess… I could really only see a problem with the truck. So, if we make sure that there's nothing that can happen to the truck, then we shouldn't have a problem. If maybe, we can get Cold's gun to be with Joe or Caitlin, and if Cisco builds some kind of fail safe for the dampener?_

(2:13)  
Then nothing they try can release the metas.

(2:14)  
 _And we can have our back up protection with the cold gun and just drop them all off._

(2:16)  
Good, and maybe by the end of this day, we'll all solve our problems

(2:17)  
 _Let me go tell Cisco the new plan_

(2:18)  
Fingers crossed

.

(4:30)  
 _Snart tried double crossing us, but we had the truck reinforced. Had to knock out him and his sister to keep them from trying something worse, but the metas are on the plane. We got something right._

(4:32)  
And Dad didn't have to say, I told you so

(4:33)  
 _He said it with his eyes, esp. when Snart tried to free the metas.  
_ (4:34)  
 _What's up on your end?_

(4:38)  
I want to talk to Eddie again but I don't even know what to say. He… basically broke up with me this morning because of this idea of the future, but it's not like that future is guaranteed. Nothing is. I mean, you've changed time multiple times before, changed the whole of the world, and who's to say that it can't happen again?  
(4:40)  
I'm not saying that I don't like the idea of maybe being married to you one day, Barry, but I want to find it on my own, you know? I want to craft my own future rather than listening to the rantings of a guy who tried to kill my best friend's mom.  
(4:42)  
For all we know, he could've said that for this specific reason — to break up me and Eddie, to spin everything into this distracting mess so that he could get away with whatever it is that he's trying to do. I'm not letting him win. I'm not letting someone else's opinions of the future, or my relationship, or me matter anymore.  
(4:43)  
My heart, my words.  
(4:43)  
I decide who I love and when I love them.

(4:45)  
 _You're really something, Iris_

(4:47)  
Tell that to Eddie

(4:48)  
 _I'm sure you'll tell him yourself :)_

(4:49)  
I'm actually on my way up to CCPD right now, so… update you later?

(4:50)  
 _Just tell me when_

.

(5:01p)  
And Barry?

(5:02)  
 _?_

(5:02)  
That's not a bad future. Just, not the right present. If that makes sense

(5:03)  
 _Yeah, unfortunately for me, it does_

(5:05)  
I gotta go

(5:06)  
 _I know_

.

(9:14p)  
 _We got him, Iris. Oliver and Ronnie and Stein, they helped me take him down once and for all!_

.

(9:30p)  
Eddie and I broke up. Officially.  
(9:30)  
Guess I really don't need those labels, huh?

(9:32)  
 _I'm so sorry. Do you need me to come over or?_

(9:34)  
I think I'm gonna turn in early. Celebrate for me? Take another shot with my name on it :)

(9:35)  
 _I don't know if this a shot kind of celebration_

(9:36)  
Well, I've got a whole bottle of wine in my fridge that's definitely what I need tonight.

(9:38)  
 _Drink water too?_

(9:39)  
I'll put a bottle by my bed for the morning

(9:40)  
 _Text me if you need anything_

.

(11:03p)  
Company. I don't really want to be alone anymore

(11:04)  
 ** _Be right there  
_** (11:05)  
 ** _Should I knock or?_**

(11:05)  
 _Just get in here, Barry._

(11:06)  
 ** _Okay. okay_**

.

.

.


	8. (soon as you come upstairs) reply me

**an:** feels weird to write prose for this fic, but it didn't seem right to just skip over this moment altogether

 **guide:** Plain text is Iris. Italics are _Flash_. Bold italics mean _Barry_.

.

 **Part Seven (and a half)**

.

.

 **Today** (11:05p)  
Just get in here, Barry

Iris probably shouldn't have invited Barry over. He's got a super villain to fight, a particle accelerator to turn off so he can save Central City all over again — and yet, here he is, psyching himself up on the other side of her bedroom door.

He used to bounce on the balls of his feet when they were younger. Rock a few times before he knocked, and normally she heard the squeak of the floor board beneath him and knew to at least look like she wasn't waiting for him to show up.

Like, when she broke up with Darren Peterson in tenth grade, and she spent an entire day in bed with her journal, ripping out pages and blacking out words until it all seemed a little less like she was wasting her whole life on some guy who wouldn't even message her back on AIM.

Barry had rocked outside her door at least four times that day before he finally knocked and entered bearing gifts. He'd brought a fan to blow away the Sharpie smell, a pan of brownies with pretzels crumbled on top, and a lighter — in case she wanted to burn something.

But this Barry — present day Barry who loves her just as much and really does have better things he could be doing — just rocks once, and he comes in empty handed.

His left hand lingers in his pocket, hovering over his phone as if she'll change her mind. Choose to text him instead. It might be easier to text him, to keep up this little wall between what she says and what she looks like saying them. But she kind of doesn't even feel like talking, if that makes sense. She doesn't even want her wine. She just… she doesn't know exactly, she just wants.

Barry twists the doorknob again in his hand.

"Should I, uh, grab a glass too?"

He keeps his tone light, which almost makes her smile. He's trying at least. He's always trying.

Iris shakes her head. "Wine's a little too bitter tonight."

Makes her a little too loopy and loose, like writing a blog post on private and knowing that no one else will ever read it and no one would really hold her accountable for anything she says. Like standing on the roof with the first proof of the impossible and knowing that if she just trusts the Flash, he can lead her to answers. He can save the city and Barry's dad and finally give Barry that light in his eyes all the time.

Of course, the Flash didn't really do all that, and private blog posts typically get deleted, and bottles of wine just lead to hangovers and a craving for something a little sweeter to balance out the acidity.

He really should've brought brownies. Or something. Cookies, Cheez-Its, a way to go back a year to when the impossible was still that and everything didn't hurt so much.

"I—" She sits up a little further on the bed. "Just sit with me?"

He does. Crossing the room in a few steps, he bounces down at the foot of her bed. Like they used to do after confirming Joe was asleep, back when they'd alternate whose room was the secret planning base for the night.

They used to plot how to break his dad out of prison, or prove the existence of the Man in Yellow. Mostly, they fell asleep in the wrong room and scrambled back to the right places when they heard Joe's shower turn on in the morning.

"Just sit?" Barry repeats. "No talking? No nothing?"

She shrugs.

It shouldn't be hard to not talk. They'd done it enough recently. But at the same time, that might be the problem. They've gotten better at being friends from a distance, which works as an adaptation to their situation but doesn't exactly make it easy to actually be together now. Because now — and most times — she looks at him and she sees the ghost of the smirk he gives beneath the Flash mask. The way his jaw stayed stationary while the rest of his face blurred, while the whole of the world warped to fit his lies.

Secrets.

Secret identity.

(Lies, but she really is trying to move on from that.)

"How could he just…." Iris stops. She tries again. "How could Eddie just…. I told Dad about him. I moved out of the house and threatened all of my relationships, even questioned our relationship, for him, and he just… left."

Now, she knows that maybe Eddie needed the space, or maybe Eddie wanted to get away from the weird kidnapping superpower drama, but he's the first serious relationship that Iris has ever had. He's the only guy she's changed her life around for, but she guesses he's not okay with not being the last. He's terrified that maybe she'll give in to the future and be with Barry. That she'll wake up one day, look across the room at her best friend, and go _oh_.

Barry clears his throat, and she glances back over to him. He says, "One of these days, he's going to remember all of the great times he had with you, Iris. He's going to picture everything that could've come next — the amazing reunion, the second chance at the perfect proposal," and here's where Barry gets that glint in his eye as the corner of his lips turns up. Where Barry reveals a glimpse at a canine tooth and stares into Iris like he sees that same future that everyone else seems so sure of.

He says, "The brush of his fingers against the veil at your wedding — if you want a veil, of course, maybe we're beyond fake secrets and hiding parts of ourselves for traditional values. Either way, he's going to regret this, Iris, and the only thing you have to worry about, or drink about, is what you might be doing when he finally comes around."

Depends on how long it takes Eddie. If it's tonight, then she's here with Barry, talking and totally ruining this perfect night. Tomorrow, she'll probably be at STAR Labs if they don't try to kick her out to protect her. Next week, she should be back at work, but after that… who knows?

She leans back into her pillows.

"I really did love him."

Barry nods. "I know."

She sinks a little further down. Somehow that makes her throat tighten up a bit, makes her eyes start to water. She tries swallowing it down, but that only makes her want to cough and cry and maybe take the wine back out of the freezer and chug it all down.

"Could you come up here? Next to me?"

Barry slides up on the bed without another thought. Settles in next to her, and she furrows her forehead into his endless neck. Something gets caught in his throat too, and he clears it again. She follows his lead, and he shifts so he can get his arm out and around her shoulders.

She tries to joke. "You making a move, Flash?"

But he doesn't seem to get it. "Only when you want me to," he says. As if giving her more to think about will help in this situation. As if remembering that this amazing guy will probably never be over her makes losing Eddie any easier.

Why couldn't she be the type of girl who can bury her feelings into another a person? Why does she have to care so much?

Barry tells her, "It's okay to be a mess right now. I'm not going anywhere. And neither is Wells, so I've got all the time in the world."

When she glances back up, there's a different little grin nestled into Barry's lips.

"Humble brag?"

The grin turns into a full on smile. "Come on, Iris, he's locked up in his own invention, by metas that he helped create. This can't get more, like… symmetrical? I don't know… it's really almost perfect."

So is he.

Or he will be.

After all, she and Barry are the future, right?

.

.


	9. (soon as you get back) reply me

**an** : so we're at the finale of season one, and the end of this fic. not sure if this is going to continue, but we'll see ~ let me know if you think it should

 **guide** : Plain text is Iris. Italics are _Flash_

.

.

 **Part Eight**

.

.

 **Today** (8:13a)  
No goodbye?

(8:15)  
 _I wanted to be there when Wells woke up. Pretty sure he's faking being asleep at this point.  
_ (8:16)  
 _Sorry, should I have stayed?_

(8:17)  
It's fine. Really. You being there last night was enough

(8:19)  
 _I can come back? Seriously Wells is just laying there_

(8:21)  
I wouldn't say no to a cup of coffee  
(8:22)  
But I also wouldn't want to get between you and your big moment

(8:24)  
 _I can drop one off for you. Open the door for me in ten?_

(8:26)  
Can do

.

(8:38)  
If being the Flash ever gets boring, you should do this for a living. Cup's so fresh that I smudged my name on the side of it.

(8:40)  
 _Only for you, Iris_

(8:41)  
"What other girls"

(8:41)  
 _Don't mock me when I do nice things_

(8:42)  
Don't be mockable and I won't

(8:42)  
 _Mockable? Now who's creating words?_

(8:44)  
I'm too lazy to screenshot the definition, but that one is real. Something that can be mocked; has a picture of you under examples. Probably from your days with braces

(8:45)  
 _Is that before or after a picture of you from gym class?_

(8:46)  
Before. Best examples always go higher up

(8:48)  
 _Hardy har. Someone's in a good mood  
_ (8:49)  
 _Shit, does mentioning it ruin the mood?  
_ (8:49)  
 _It probably does, I'm sorry  
_ (8:50)  
 _If it makes you feel any better, Cisco slept in the accelerator last night. Just curled up in his rolling chair with candy hanging out his mouth  
_ (8:51)  
 _Do you want a picture? I can send one_

(8:52)  
It's fine, Bar. I'm fine.

(8:53)  
 _…sure you don't want a picture?_

(8:54)  
I'm sure. I should go get ready for the day. But thank you, for everything

(8:55)  
 _Any time._

.

(9:30a)  
 _What are you doing right now?_

(9:31)  
Sitting in my car, debating if I really want to go inside CCPN right now

(9:32)  
 _Can I rant for a second? Or a lot of seconds?_

(9:32)  
Bring it on

(9:34)  
 _I talked to Wells, right. I knew he was a dick, but he's such a fucking dick, Iris. He plays on everything he knows and everything I've ever confided in him to just fuck with my head. Plus, you know the first thing he said to me was about wanting Big Belly Burger? He doesn't get that. No, that's a gift. A treat for people who've done a few bad things but don't deserve to fucking starve in this cell. Not for people who've been ruining lives that have apparently existed from before their time!  
_ (9:36)  
 _and GOD, I've spent the last twenty minutes talking to everyone else. To Ronnie and Stein and Joe and Cisco and Caitlin, but…. Iris, he wanted all of this. Wanted to make me the Flash, wanted to make me faster, wanted me to take him home. And he still thinks I will because he's offering the one thing I've always wanted  
_ (9:37)  
 _To save my mom  
_ (9:37)  
 _To free my dad  
_ (9:38)  
 _To be normal and happy and never have to deal with all of this_

(9:40)  
That's… a lot, Bar

(9:41)  
 _It's more than a lot, Iris. It's everything._

(9:43)  
So time travel? Didn't you just say a few days ago that you can't risk it?

(9:45)  
 _He thinks that I will, that he can show me how to go further than a day and that I'll just give up everything I have for some possibility of something else_

(9:46)  
Would you?

(9:48)  
 _I don't know.  
_ _Would it be so bad if I did? If I got to wake up to my mom and talk to my dad face to face and, I mean, I'd still have Joe teach me to drive if possible_

(9:50)  
I'm sure he'd be happy to hear that

(9:51)  
 _He actually really seems on board with it_

(9:51)  
Seriously? Joe West? We're talking about the same guy?

(9:53)  
 _Yeah :) we are. He says I saved a lot of people, and it's time to save myself_

(9:54)  
Wow

(9:56)  
 _Yeah…. Can you imagine what it could be like? We wouldn't grow up in the same house, but we still went to the same school, still got to know each other_

(9:58)  
But we didn't get really close until you moved in

(9:59)  
 _Then we find another reason to get close_

(10:00)  
And if we don't?

(10:01)  
 _I can't imagine a world where you're not in it. I promise there's no version of me who wouldn't do everything in his power to know you_

(10:02)  
But what if I don't know you? What do you do then?

(10:03)  
 _I don't know_

(10:05)  
What if you save your mom and someone else dies? What if you lose your dad?

(10:06)  
 _I don't know. Why would that happen? Why are you being like this?_

(10:09)  
Because I want you to know that if you make this decision, Barry, there's no telling what might happen. But whatever does, the one who has to live with it is you, and honestly that's what needs to matter. Dad's right, you spend so much time worrying about everyone else and saving people, and it might be time to do what's in your heart rather than what you think might be right or logical.  
(10:11)  
Something awful might happen, but it could also be great. I hear there's some future out there where things aren't so complicated. I seem pretty cool in it. I hyphenate

(10:13)  
 _That might not happen_

(10:15)  
Hey, don't take back your sweeping declarations on my account. Every version of you + every version of me. If we've got that /and/ you've got your family, you might just be unstoppable Barry Allen

(10:16)  
 _Shouldn't you be in work?_

(10:16)  
I called in while you typed up your rant

(10:17)  
 _You really are something, Iris  
_ (10:17)  
 _But I gotta go_

(10:19)  
Sure thing  
(10:19)  
Say hi to your dad for me

.

(11:46a)  
 _He says hi back  
_ (11:46)  
 _And not to change time_

(11:50)  
So?

(11:52)  
 _I still have no idea_

.

(3:27p)  
 _So it turns out that I could destroy the entire world if I go back in time. Wells left that part out! Ha, there's a chance that if I don't do this perfectly, all of you — he versions of you all that I know — could die in a huge wormhole, and it doesn't seem right that I'm risking all of that for something that I've learned to live without._

(3:35)  
What did we say about thinking of you, Barry?

(3:37)  
 _We didn't know you could die then._

(3:40)  
And this knowledge changes what? You never would've been back to this exact timeline anyway.

(3:42)  
 _So you want me to kill you?_

(3:44)  
I want you to do what feels right to you, and I want you to do it in the two minute window you have before you blow up everything

(3:45)  
 _Joe messaged you already?_

(3:46)  
He might've prepped me for this

(3:48)  
 _Gonna miss the meddling. If I go back._

(3:50)  
Pretty sure that would happen in any verse

(3:51)  
 _Promise?_

(3:52)  
You're being so sappy rn

(3:53)  
 _Holding the fate of the world in your hands can do that to you_

(3:54)  
hmm

.

(5:12p)  
So, uh, I ended up going into work, not for much, just to kind of pass the day rather than staring at my phone and wondering what you'd choose. Which is pretty coincidental and perfect because Eddie decided to bring me something to eat. He went to Mama Chow's and told me this whole story about the power of coincidence, and it's like I have the opportunity to have him back, so maybe we all have some opportunities we need to enjoy and test out. Screw the future. Live it up.

(5:14)  
 _Uh, well, in that case, you two want to come to a wedding?_

(5:15)  
?

(5:15)  
 _Ronnie wants to stay, so we're having a little thing tonight, outside STAR labs, in about an hour_

(5:16)  
I'll ask

.

(5:42p)  
It's weird that you're actually changing into your suit the slow way and that maybe you and I won't exist tomorrow, or maybe we will. Know that no matter what, Barry, I'm always going to be here for you. And if you get a chance, say hi to your mom for me.

(5:44)  
 _If we're making little speeches, I just want to say that I'm sorry for not telling you about me being the Flash. But I'm so glad that you reached out to him. It might not have been exactly how we expected, but we found our way back to a good place, and that… that's hard to maybe say goodbye to._

(5:46)  
Then don't say it. Just go out there and whenever you get back, hmu

(5:47)  
 _Ha, come thruuu_

(5:48)  
;D  
(5:48)  
Later, Barry

(5:49)  
 _Later, Iris_

.

.

.

.

(9:45p)  
 _Hey, I have no idea if you can get this_ , _or if it'll even go to the right version of you, but I just wanted you to know that I had to make a decision today and I hope it leads to a future that we can all learn to love. I got back here hours too early, and I managed to convince my dad to stay out of the house. Got him a solid alibi for what had to come next, but I couldn't save my mom. I don't know what this means for me or you or that giant wormhole in the sky, but remember this because it will never change,  
_ (9:46)  
 _I love you, Iris West_

.

.

(10:00p)  
…I want to say wrong number, but you definitely said my name, so maybe it's just wrong Iris?

(10:03)  
 _Or wrong timeline. Sorry, I've got to go._

(10:04)  
Who are you?  
(10:04)  
How do you know my name?  
(10:05)  
Hello?

.

.


End file.
